The Hands And Feet Of Jesus

Special Needs Family Camp 2019 

 Bluebronna Wilderness Camp

It was another wonderful year.

Needy families reaching out to needy families,

Families that are sometimes struggling to pull through the day.

As I walked around and watched people interacting with each other I noticed deep conversations and communication going on.

Each family had a different specific need that brought them into the special needs family.

I saw kids having fun, playing in ways that they may not be able to at home because of the needs within their particular family.

I saw moms and dads relax as they knew their children were being taken care of by staff with huge servant hearts. Staff who willingly took care of children that they didn't know; children with needs that they had never encountered before.

Staff who lovingly ministered to these dear ones.

Staff, being the hands and feet of Jesus.

My heart was warmed as I observed all these things going on.

Then I saw this

A grown man holding another grown man's hand.

I was so struck by the power of this image.

I started to ponder, "What really does it mean to be the hands and feet of Jesus?"

Does it mean to be actively doing something?

I think not necessarily.

In Corinthinas 12:27 it says we are memeber's of His body, grafted into the body of the Perfect One.

So then, what did Jesus do with His hands?

He loved.

He loved the people around Him.

"This is how everyone will know that you are my disciples, when you love each other." John 13:35

So I watched as these two young men held hands. 

The one a staff member and the other a camper.

This camper shows love by touch, just simply holding a hand.

I was so struck by this picture.

Jesus touched the ones that were on the outside.

He spent time with the weak and the vulnerable.

They held hands.

This young camper didn't distinguish between it being a male or a female and I don't think he cared, he just needed love.

This staff member noticed that and when the young camper wanted to hold his hand as they watched the game he held his hand back.

He was willing to be Jesus' hands right there in front of a whole crowd.

There was no shame or embarrassment in him as he stood in front of a large group of people, holding the hand of another man.

This is a love that can only come from above, a pure undefiled, God honouring and glorifying love.

A love that will be rewarded with an eternal reward.

If you do it unto one of the least of these my brothers, you have done it to me. Matthew 25:40

To this staff member:

You are a man in a zillion.

I respect you so very much.

I saw Jesus standing beside this young man, not you. Jesus held his hand through you.

Keep being Jesus' hands and feet.

It is noticed and your reward will be in Heaven.

"Whatever you do do it heartily as to the Lord and not to men knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance 

FOR YOU SERVE THE LORD CHRIST" Colossians 3:23-24

Ella Faith Lengsfeld

 Ella Faith Lengsfeld

Sweet little Ella.

Namma was so excited to see you when you were born.

What an incredible blessing.

So perfectly formed and my are you chubby.

What a special day it was.

Little Ella, you share a birthday with your cousin David.

You will never meet him here on earth but you will always remind us of him when you have a birthday.

We will remember him when you are going through milestones of growth.

What a special day to be born on.

God has a plan and a reason for that also.

You are so loved already.

Ella, your Mom and Dad love you dearly. You could not be born into a better family, sweet girl.

They will raise you up in the fear of the Lord.

Your sister Ainslee will take good care of you. She loves you so much already.

Ella, Namma and Gramps will always pray for you.

We will pray that you will grow up to be first a girl that wants to serve the Lord and then a woman having Him first in your life.

Ella means light

Faith is for your Mom and Dad's trust in God.

Ella, be a light in this world and have faith in the God who created you and made each beautiful part of you.

When Sorrow Meets Joy

The weekend of February 17-20.

Wow, what a whirlwind it was.

This is Namma's version of it.

I got a text, "Pray for Laura, she is bleeding heavily."

From there it quickly escalated and Laura was being transported to Red Deer Hospital with IV fluids and a blood transfusion.

Baby's heartbeat was low but he was still alive.

Baby's heart rate was back up to 125 so we were hopeful that he may survive although the prognosis was not great.

So many lifted Jesse and Laura and baby up in prayer.
We were beseeching the throne of grace that God would have mercy and spare this little one's life.
God, however, saw fit to take this little one home .

Oh the struggles of this Namma's heart.  I knew God could save his little life. I knew that God would spare this little one's life if this is what would glorify His name the most.
I so desperately didn't want to have to see Jesse and Laura go through such difficult and painful trials so early in their marriage.
God, however, saw fit to take this little one home.

We knew this little one was coming and were so sad for Jesse and Laura, continually bringing them before the Lord as so many others were doing

After several hours of labour, little David Cason Vervloet was born.
David is  after Jesse David.
Cason is after Gramps (Case), Uncle Jason and Grandpa Casey.
What a beautiful name for an incredibly beautiful little boy.

I was able to go see all three of them soon after little David was born.
Oh Jesse and Laura, the stark, raw grief that I saw on your faces as you cradled your little son was almost unbearable.
Jesse, I saw you on your knees at the foot of Laura's bed with tears streaming down your face.
Laura, I saw the bleak, empty, pained look in your face as you were trying so hard to be brave.
God saw fit to take this little lamb home.

I held sweet little David and examined every beautiful part.
His body was so perfect.
His feet so beautifully formed with his toes separated already with the nail beds and nails formed. His heels and foot arches were so clearly visible.  
It was quite evident that he was going to have healthy sized feet. He even had fat little calves.
His thighs and hip bones were perfectly formed. 
I could count every one of his ribs and see his sternum so clearly visible.
His arms and hands were so beautiful. His fingers were long and so perfectly amazing also showing clear nail beds and nails.

But his face, oh how beautiful.
His little lips were perfectly formed and we could pull down on his chin and see his tiny tongue.  That tongue amazed me. It was so so tiny and so so perfect. Perfectly shaped and formed. Nothing was partially there.  It was all there.
David's ears, oh how intricately each fold was.  Perfect already. Nothing being formed. Everything there.
So incredibly beautiful.
Each little part of David was so perfect.
I am so thankful I got to hold him and see him.
But God saw fit to take this little lamb home.

After I left Jesse and Laura with their little one I sat in the van for a while to think things through. I called Case to tell him I was coming home.
He didn't want to let me go off the phone and finally said, "Um, you might not want to come home because Jenn is in labour.
I just sat back in my seat and cried.
"Seriously?"
"How is that even funny?"
"Couldn't it have been another day Lord?"
But today was the day so I regrouped and moved forward.

Later that day Chad, Jenn and Ainslee were blessed with little Ella Faith Lengsfeld.  What a joyful time that was.
So bitter sweet.
Another perfectly formed baby.


Two beautiful babies in one day.
One given to us to love and raise to become a child of His
and one
God gently carried up to himself.

I don't have any answers to this whole story but I know God weeps with those who weep. He has known sorrow that we never will and we will never endure something that He has not endured before us. He will wipe the tears.

"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." Rev 21:4

"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works' my soul knows it very well.  My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them." Psalm 139:1-6



Ella And David
How do we cope with a grief so deep
That our hearts can scarcely contain,
And at the same time laugh with a joy so full
Our same hearts can barely constrain?

How do we grieve and weep together
With the ones whose loss is so raw,
And at the same time look in a newborn's face,
With exhilarating reverential awe?

How do we move forward the morning after,
With the exciting newborn talks,
When our sweet little David's body,
Lay still in a cold, hard box?

I don't have the answers but move forward we will
As a grieving, rejoicing clan,
Taking each moment, one day at a time,
Knowing that, 'Through Him, I Can."

Lukas Jase Vanderkooy

A Miracle Is Born
December 26, 2018

Oh sweet little Lukas.

How we rejoiced when we heard you were born.

Named after your Uncle Jase.

I never thought of anyone naming their baby after Uncle Jase but how special it is.

Lukas, you have big shoes to fill.

Uncle Jase is a pretty amazing man.

Uncle Jase is a man of courage.

Uncle Jase has courage like few I have ever seen.

Be courageous little Lukas. When things get hard, look to Jesus and He will always give you courage to carry on.

Uncle Jase loves unconditionally.

It doesn't matter who you are or what you look like.

It doesn't matter whether you are a saint or the baddest person around.

Jase looks and sees a human being.

He smiles and says, "Hi." in the way only Jase can.

Little Lukas, love unconditonally. It is so worth it.

Jesus loves His own not because of who they are or what they've done but because they are His.

Uncle Jase is a man of perseverance.

No matter how tough things are for Uncle Jase, he always gets up and tries again.  He never quits.

Little man, when life gets hard, persevere.

God will give you the strength you need to keep on.

Uncle Jase is a man of great humour.

Oh that guy can laugh.

We often have to laugh just because he's laughing.

Always have humour Lukas, it is so good for the soul.

Always find time for a good hard laugh.

You are such a blessing to us little man and we look forward to walking with you through life.

Gramps and Namma will always be there for you. 

Uncle Jase and Lukas Jase

December 18th, 2016

December 18th,

A day we will never forget.

That 'going on as normal' day.

That phone call.

The exact place we each were at when we received the news.

The feelings of unbelief and gut ripping pain.

Unforgotten.

How can one explain the loss of a loved one?

How can one ever 'get over' the loss of a one so dear?

Will it ever go away?

How do we learn to live with that empty space?

That hole?

That unheard voice that continues to speak in our lives at unexpected moments?

What about that laugh?  That incredible, beautiful, room filling amazing, joyful, uninhibited laugh?

Silence.

Silence!

Silence!!!!

The screaming sound of

SILENCE!!!

The deep need to 'hear' that voice again.

The knife twisting pain of urgency to just see once more.

Many of us are feeling the raw pain of recent loss.

Many are going through their first or second or fifth or 10th Christmas season without their dear one.

Does it get better?

Easier?

Does the pain go away?

Does 'normal' ever come again?

Will we ever be able to live without pretending?

Without the lie of "I'm ok?

By God's Grace, yes.

He softens the pain.

He heals the wounds.

The heaving breakers become soft swells, always there like an ocean rhythm, sometimes swelling up but more often quiet waves than heavy storms.

The ripping winds become a soft breeze, sometimes rising to threaten our hearts but often gently blowing reminding us of our dear one.

No, family pictures will never be the same.

No, family get-to-gethers are never complete.

Yes, we think of that dear one when our own children reach and pass the age that he/she reached.

Even though we don't always mention the 'missing' we know that each one of us is conscious  of the one who isn't there.

To our dear friends who's pain is still so raw,

God is faithful.

He will heal.

He will never leave nor forsake you.

Lean on Him,

Rest in Him.

Take your burden to the Lord for He cares for you.

Go my friends,

Walk on through each day,

Knowing that God,

Our God is your stay.

He will be there,

You never need fear,

God is so faithful,

Always so near.

Though your hearts are so heavy,

Your pain scarcely you bear.

God lends you His ear and,

Hears every prayer.

Do not be disheartened,

For God is your Stay,

Go now my friends,

With Him through each day.

Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.

Psalm 55:22

Aug 10, 2016

When your life has stopped,

Yet you must carry on,

When you’ve lost the words

And the tune to your song,

When heaviness presses down

Deep on your soul

Look up and remember

Our Lord’s in control.

He set the mountain’s

Firm in their place

He made the galaxies

High up in space

He fashioned the oceans and

Gave them their bounds

Then with His Glory

All this was crowned.

All that life brings us

Is in His command.

Nothing will stop Him

No laws of this land.

Everything that

He allows in His Will

Remembering daily

God abides with us still.

So when you are grieving

Too deeply to tell

Remember our Father

Who does all things well

He restoreth the soul and

Gently doth lead.

So look up dear friend,

Look up in your need.

August 9 2016

When Abnormal Becomes Normal

I am cooking in the kitchen, peeling potatoes and making apple turnovers.

Jason is lying on the floor beside the counter. He just had his second seizure of the day. I have tucked a pillow under his head.  I continue peeling potatoes, keeping my eye on him.

Is it normal for an 18 year old young man to be lying on the kitchen floor?

Is it normal for me to be going about my 'normal' stuff when Jase is on the floor like that?

How can we act like 'nothing' has happened?

I have been thinking a lot about this.

Jase has had seizures at various places and I watch as the girls deal with it.  I continue the conversation I am in as he is seizing on the floor.  

Am I hardened to these seizures?  

Some may think so however, they did not see the 'look' that passed between myself and my girl.

One look.

In this look was the question, "You got this?"

A look was returned, "Ya, I'm fine".

This is our normal.

 I continue the conversation I was in as Jason is seizing on the floor.

 Most don't realize that all my senses are focused on Jason and the daughter that is helping him. 

  

Most don't know that as I continue talking I am praying to our Father in Heaven to spare this dear young man once again.

Most don't feel the anguish that I feel inside every time he has a seizure. 

Most don't understand the helpless feeling of watching our child time and time again seizing in what may be his last seizure.

He stops seizing and is resting on the floor.

We exchange another 'look'.

"You ok?"

"Ya, I'm fine".

This is our normal.

We sigh a sigh of release and thankfulness again as Jason has come through another seizure.

 Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second continually watching on high alert, day and night, 24/7,365 days a year; waiting for the next seizure.

This is our normal.

The girls have been amazing and we are so thankful for them and their love toward us and Jason.

We thank God every day for another day with this young man.

It could be so different.